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• August 25, 2024
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In a world where polyamory, friends with benefits, and Tinder dating are becoming more common, traditional ideas about monogamy are being increasingly challenged and debated. But can you handle being in love with more than one person simultaneously? How would you feel if your partner were in such a situation? Reality TV star Antonia "Toya" Wright and writer Sophie Saint Thomas, who were in a polyamorous relationship for years, share their experiences and offer insights on what to consider before entering an open relationship.

Open relationships come with their own set of challenges. For Saint Thomas, the most difficult aspect wasn't the idea of her partner being intimate with others, but rather dealing with the emotional sharing. "The hardest part was the emotional sharing," she explains. "Ultimately, I struggled with my partner having feelings for and dating other women. For me, it was more challenging to handle the emotional availability than the sexual availability."

Being in an open relationship can teach you how to manage jealousy. When your partner is openly seeing others, jealousy is almost inevitable. Although Saint Thomas is no longer in an open relationship, she has applied what she learned about managing jealousy to her current monogamous relationship. "I’ve become more confident in our relationship, and I've learned not to let potential threats, like exes or attractive coworkers, cause unnecessary stress," she says.

It’s crucial to ensure your relationship is strong before exploring something new. "If you're considering an open relationship, make sure you have a solid foundation with your current partner," advises Saint Thomas. "You need to be able to communicate effectively. If it’s not working for one person, it’s important to come to an agreement."

Being in an open relationship doesn’t mean cheating is occurring. In fact, it's quite the opposite. "It’s not cheating in an open relationship," Saint Thomas notes. "That’s the benefit of it—everything is transparent and consensual."

Ultimately, communication and honesty are key. "It would have been easier if I had been honest with myself from the start," Saint Thomas reflects. "So being truthful, both with your partner and yourself, is crucial when navigating different relationship structures."